


The Shadows The Run Alongside Our Car

by BlueSpectre



Category: Left 4 Dead (Video Games)
Genre: Guns, Idk what to tag this as, M/M, Mentions of Death, Minor Violence, Zombies, ellis gets a little more than he bargained for, i finished writing this instead of sleeping, mention of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 08:53:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14589450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueSpectre/pseuds/BlueSpectre
Summary: In the safety of a car going nearly 80 miles per hour, Nick has something to confess.





	The Shadows The Run Alongside Our Car

**Author's Note:**

> i didn't proof read this, it's three in the morning and I'm tired as hell. I'll fix it tomorrow  
> Edit: I proofread it and edited what i saw was wrong. I may have still missed from stuff

Driving this late at night was not unfamiliar to Nick. Barreling down the highway at speeds that would tear down the speed limit signs if the wind caught it. Normally he’d have the windows down and the stereo up, but seeing as Coach and Rochelle napped soundly in the back seat he had decided against it. He caught a quick glance at them in the rear-view, Rochelle’s head leaning against Coach’s shoulder while Coach’s head lulled to the opposite side, arms crossed over his chest. Even asleep he looked like a hardass.

On the opposite side of the road there were cars backed up for miles. Car doors flung wide open, half eaten bodies drooping out of seats and onto the asphalt, cars piled on top of each other from various crashes and accidents as their occupants desperately attempted to flee the city. Only to have their passengers turn and rip the vocal chords out of their throat.

The thought should have disturbed Nick, but it didn’t. Suppose he was just becoming desensitized to it all. There were only so many times you could throw up in a potted plant after seeing someone’s intestines spilt on the floor before you start turning a blind eye to it.

That was their life now. Blind eyes and numbed minds.

The gambler just followed the carnage of the military vehicle in front of them as it ploughed through backed up cars like a snow shovel in winter. He had stopped the car a little while back to allow the vehicle time to get ahead of them, so the screeching sound of cars being pushed aside like tonka toys didn’t wake the sleeping beauties in the back.

In the passenger seat, Ellis cleared his throat and slumped further down into his seat. His elbow was resting against the armrest while his fist pushed into his face, a glum look as his expression as he pouted about losing Jimmy Gibb’s stock car. Nick could swear he saw a tear run down the man’s face as it was thrown into the water by a pissed off tank.

“Sit up a little, would ya? If I slam on the breaks that seatbelt is gonna slice your head clean off.” Nick said, not taking his eyes off the road ahead. Couldn’t. Not when there was a chance a charger or a tank could jump right in the way. Though he could feel the look Ellis was giving him.

“Any particular reason you’d do that?” he responded, his Southern accent even thicker in his exhaustion. Nick didn’t even think it was possible.

“Dunno, suppose I could find a reason. Like now!” He gave the break just a little tap, enough to jerk Ellis a little bit forward, the hick letting out a choked breath as the seatbelt dug slightly into his neck. The pissy look he gave Nick for it as the gambler laughed was priceless.

“That ain’t funny. Asshole…”

Nick’s laugh died almost immediately in his throat, any moment of joy he had was sucked away by Ellis’ sourpuss face. He almost felt bad.

“I know you’re bummed about the car, but you had to have known that thing wasn’t going to last, not in a world like this. Besides, fuckin’ thing was a gas guzzler, swear to god it needed to be refueled every four miles.”

“Ain’t supposed ‘ta be driven on highways and sidestreets,” Ellis grumbled. “Told y’all that four goddamn times, but fuck if anyone ever listens to me. Everythin’ I say is just hick, backwater bullshit.”

Nick frowned.

“You’re still pissed about yesterday.” A question that was said as a statement, because Nick already knew the answer. Ellis just sniffed and didn’t respond.

“ _Look_ , I said I--” Nick stopped himself before he could continue, his words laced with venom that he didn’t want. He took a breath and sighed, gaining himself a little before trying again, his voice softer this time.

“I didn’t mean it, okay? I was just… pissed off and stressed and in pain and I snapped. It was shitty, I’m sorry, alright?”

“You snap an awful lot.”

“I’m always snippy.”

“Not towards Rochelle or Coach.”

He stole another look at the two in the back, still sound asleep with no intention of waking up any time soon. Ellis had a point, Nick _did_ pick him a lot more than the others, but that was because he made it so goddamn easy.

Still, he will admit what he said yesterday was a bit harsh. The guy was only trying to help.

“I’m sorry,”

“Ya already apologized.”

“No I mean, just, in general. For being an asshole, for always pickin’ on ya and all that shit.”

“You’ll be back to doin’ it in a few hours.” Ellis said, a bit of a humorous edge to his voice.

Nick offered a little grin. “Maybe,”

Both men went back to silence, Ellis watching as the streetlights pass overhead, Nick squinting to make sure the figure they were approaching was just a regular zombie or a survivor trying to hitch a ride. As he got closer, he could see the blood pouring from their eyes, so he decided to carefully swerve around them. It was always amusing to watch them charge after the car in the side mirror, their silhouette slowly fading into a small dot in the mirror before disappearing from view altogether.

 Nick eventually yawned, a dreadful feeling of exhaustion suddenly washing over him. He technically should still be resting from yesterday, a hand idly resting against his stomach as the wound throbbed. Fucking hunters.

“Ya want me to take over for a bit?”

“I’m fine,” Nick responded more harshly than he intended and saw as Ellis slumped back into the seat.

The con-man sighed and returned his eyes to the road again, slowing down some as the army vehicle started to come into view. He wasn’t fine, the pain was starting to creep back into his veins as the pain meds Coach found for him were starting to wear off, he was dreadfully tired, and they still had another two and a half hours before they even got close to the military base.

Besides, Ellis was practically falling asleep in his seat and was in no more condition to drive than Nick was. He supposed he could attempt to wake up either Rochelle or Coach, but decided against it when he saw Ellis’ pout in the corner of his eye.

“I’ll let you in on something,” Nick said idly, Ellis only slightly glancing over at him. “But this stays between us, got it?”

The hick nodded.

  
The gambler hesitated, swallowing past the lump in his throat. “I uh… I had a group of people before I ran into you guys. There was only four of us, all buddies of mine that I gambled and drank with.”

Ellis looked at him with interest, even after Nick had come to complete standstill and stayed that way for a solid minute.

“They all died." His voice lowered, something grim and haunting taking over it. Maybe even a hint of mourning. "One was bit, the other got torn in half, the last shot himself. I had known those guys since high school and I had lost them all in the span of a month. I’m an asshole and snippy because I don’t want to get close to anyone and get myself hurt. Know what I mean?”

Ellis was silent, studying the man behind the wheel, Nick bit his lip for a second.

“Why you always pickin’ on me more than the others, then?”

Now it was Nick’s turn to slump into his seat.

Because he’s stubborn, no matter what Nick says or does, Ellis always comes back with a smiling face and a positive attitude. Looking up to Nick when he shouldn’t, always trying to help, to make things easier, to lift his mood even when the world around them is crumbling apart and the ground falls out from under them.

Because despite the shit Nick has done in his past and what he does now, despite the snarky remarks, the smart ass comebacks, Ellis _still_ seems to find something within the broken down gambler that was worth all the nasty comments.

And the worst part is that it was _working_. Ellis infuriated the shit out of him but there was something about that goddamn ‘Southern Charm’ that still managed to worm its way into Nick’s normally guarded heart and he was closer to him than the others and it scared the shit out of him.

Every zombie that gets too close, every cry of pain and terror, every rickety platform under their feet that was threatening to collapse at any second left Nick with an unsteady heart and even shakier hands.

He wasn’t looking to lose anyone else, he knew this would happen if he let his guard down and it fucking happened anyway. So his brilliant plan was to act like an asshole so no one in their right mind would want to try and work past that. Even if they did, they’d just find that past his hardened shell was just a small, scared little man who was terrified of being alone despite the fact that he drives everyone away to avoid getting hurt again.

“And I just said all that outloud, didn’t I?”

Ellis’ dumbfounded look was his answer.

“Great…”

The car was silent again, Rochelle and Coach were still sound asleep, the cars stuck indefinitely on the highway were starting to show less and zombies starting showing more. Nick could hear them growl and screech outside of the car before they ran after them, the survivor pressing just a little harder on the gas. The last thing he needed right now was for their screaming to attract the attention of a tank, then it’d be a reenactment of the race car meeting the drink, only the rest of them would meet the drink with it.

Nick could still feel Ellis looking at him, the gambler shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

“You gonna say something or are you just gonna stare at me with your mouth open?” Nick said, his voice shaky.   

The hick just smiled at him and turned his head to look out of his window, Nick letting out a little breath of relief at the lack of confrontation at his outburst.

“Ya don’t gotta be scared, Nick,” Ellis started after another wave of silence, and the breath Nick let out went right back into his chest. “We run into some rough shit sometimes, but we always make it out. You got ripped up by a hunter and here you are, drivin’ six hours to a military base where we don’t know what they’ll do to us there.”

Ellis winced a bit to himself an rubbed a spot on his arm as if it were sore. “Hopefully nothin’ with needles this time.”

Nick didn’t think about that.

“Hold on,”

Ellis’ hand frantically grabbed for the safety handle as Nick sharply turned the car towards an exit ramp away from the military vehicle.

“The hell are you doin’?!”

“Ever notice that in every military base that we go to it’s the same goddamn thing? They throw us into quarantine for a few days, and when they actually believe that we’re immune and _not_ carriers, they force us into separate rooms to poke and prod at us in some pathetic and hopeless attempt to find a cure for this shit.”

“Or a vaccine…” Ellis added quietly.

“So what? I’m fucking sick of being a pin cushion. Let it be someone else’s problem.”

“You need a goddamn doctor, Nick!”

“So we find one that isn’t tied to Uncle Sam. I’m not putting everyone else at risk just so I can get my mistake fixed. For now I’ll suck it up and keep driving until we hit the next town and we go from there.”

When Nick looked at Ellis again, he was smiling.

“What are you smiling at?”

“And you say you’re an asshole.”

“Shut up.”

As they distanced themselves away from the military transport, Nick could feel an uncertainty creep into his gut. There was an advantage to following that APC, and it wasn’t only because it had the grill of a freight train welded to its front in order to shove abandoned cars aside, but it was also louder, bigger, and attracted the attention of the zombies more than the car did. The zombies were either crushed under the wheels, or sliced in half by the spikes sticking out of the sides of the APC.

But now, as Nick drove further into the country, the zombies around them saw only a Meals on Wheels. He was used to reckless driving, but this was something even he wasn’t confident about, and the more the zombies seemed to appear out of thin air, the straighter Ellis sat up in his seat.

There was an air of nervousness shared between them, no need for words. They both knew the severity of the situation.

Ellis turned to wake the two sleeping in the back, but an unsteady hand stopped him, Nick shaking his head.

The zombies got closer the further Nick drove, one zombie’s hand even smacking against the glass of Ellis’ window and causing him to jump out of his skin. He gave a worried look to Nick, who only drove faster as a response. Ellis kept his hand on his pistol, as if expecting a zombie to jump through the window and attack and Nick would be lying if he said he wasn’t tempted to do the same, but both hands stayed tightly planted on the wheel

He swerved harshly to avoid contact with the infected that threw themselves in front of the speeding car, Nick cursing himself for not following that APC for just a _little_ longer before having some vague idea of where the hell they should be going next. He was too eager to leave, to not be someone’s pin cushion that he didn’t even think about trying to get his bearings before pulling off into Bufu Egypt.

Nick jumped at the harsh glow of an infected’s eyes as it flashed past his window, a chill clawing its way down his spine at the sound of its hungry screech. Normally he wouldn’t be bothered, but there were zombies _everywhere_ and he was nervous that they were going to be overrun.

“Look out!” Ellis’ frantic warning caused Nick’s head to snap back in front of him, just in time to plough right into a zombie, the now limp body flailing into the sky and smacking right against a transformer. A limb got caught within the wires and sent a surge of power straight to the box. In a brilliant and blinding flash of green and white, the box exploded, a loud boom echoing throughout the empty air.

And with it, the choir of an alerted horde.

“Mother _fucker_!” Nick snarled and floored it.

“What the hell’s goin’ on?!” Coach’s booming voice sounded from the back seat, and with his question came one from Rochelle of where the military transport was.

“Change of plans,” Nick stated, jerking the wheel over to the right to avoid a group of infected running right towards them. “We’re not going to be some smuck’s toy experiments again. We’re gonna find our own way.”

“Goddammit Nick, we need medical attention and food and god knows what else! Why the hell did you drive away from the transport?” Ellis could swear he saw a vein popping up in Coach’s neck.

“You remember what happened the last goddamn time we were taken to a military base? They treated us like _animals_ , Coach! They stuck us in a room no better than a fucking cage, fed us flavorless dehydrated shit from a _bag_ and held guns at us at every waking moment. Do you really wanna go back to that? You want them to look at Rochelle as nothing more than a way to repopulate? You want them to look at you as a liability because of your weight?”

Coach stayed silent, and even sat back in his seat.

“I didn’t think so.”

Ellis held onto the safety bar for dear life as Nick swerved in and out of the ‘oncoming traffic’ of zombies determined to open the car like a can of sardines, while Coach and Rochelle took a page from Ellis’ book and held a tight grip on their guns. Blood spattered across Nick’s window as a zombie took a side mirror to the face as it stood up, its teeth taking the mirror with it.

Eventually Coach thought ‘the hell with it’ and rolled down his own window, sticking an arm out to aim and firing into oncoming infected. Soon Rochelle followed suite, then Ellis, and then Nick. Nick’s hands shook almost too much to keep a steady shot, but at least he could blame it on the wind if anyone noticed.

Blood had given the car a new paint job, the zombies starting to dwindle significantly as Nick drove away from the scene of a horde. All kept shooting at what they could, _if_ they could. Ellis whooped and hollered every time he landed a headshot, Coach was taunting the ugly bastards as he killed them , while Nick focused on driving and Rochelle focused on shooting.

Soon, it was as if they were the last people left on this side of the planet. The zombies disappeared as soon as they came in and the passengers in the back returned their arms into the car and rolled their windows up.

“Plannin’ on setting off any more hordes?” Coach asked, very clearly ready to fall back asleep.

“Yeah yeah, I didn’t mean that shit and you know it.” Nick grumbled, stealing a side glance at Ellis, who was just continuing to lean out of the open window.

“How much longer until we stop again?” Rochelle asked, settling back into her seat.

“Probably not for a while. I wanna put a good distance between us and that horde,” Nick responded with a yawn, and he could feel Coach staring through his skull.

“Well hopefully it’s soon,” said Coach as he closed his eyes again. “Because I’d rather we didn’t die in a car accident because the driver fell asleep at the wheel."

* * *

 

“Did ya mean it?”

Nick’s attention snapped back to reality. To him driving down a road that seemed to go on for forever, to the zombies he saw wandering in the fields as he passed, and to Ellis’ question.

“Did I mean what?”

“Whatcha said earlier, about how you feel closer to me than the others.”

Nick blew a raspberry with his lips, checking on the two in the back with the rearview. Both were sound asleep again.

“I did.” he finally answered. “I didn’t want it to happen, but I had no control over it.”

Ellis smiled warmly at him, and despite his tired eyes, they still held a softness and care that Nick didn’t deserve to be looked at with.

“You know we’re in this together for the long haul, Nick,” he started. “You don’t gotta be scared about gettin’ close to us, and you certainly don’t gotta fight all your demons alone.”

Nick pressed his lips together into a thin line, wanting to make some kind of remark at Ellis’ words but coming up short. He couldn’t tell if it was because he couldn't think of anything, or if he just… genuinely didn’t want to refuse the hand being stretched towards him.

He decided that he would take the hand with caution, and take baby steps towards the light.

**Author's Note:**

> Title was based off a game on itchio of the same name. Y'all should check it out, it was a really nice read! https://loxrain.itch.io/shadows
> 
> Also is anyone even in this fandom anymore or am I purely just writing this for myself


End file.
